pregnancy

You know you are 39 weeks pregnant when….

….you can’t maneuver yourself about the house unless there are wide margins.  Here is me.

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Amazing how much lower my belly seems to hang in that last shot, because of my posture I guess, compared with a very similar pic just two shots before, where I look like I’m carrying up higher.

 

Is it awful to not feel any love for the baby inside you?

Thoughts at 31 weeks…..

Shouldn’t I start to love her?  I feel her hiccups against my left hip bone, almost two times per each day.  It’s cute.  She flutters her arms around, in my lower left abdomen area, and kicks her feet up below my right boob.  Lovely.  But….  I feel only love for my fiance and sons.  I don’t feel any connection to this person, and I don’t even feel at all sure that this is such a great idea, this third child plan.  This move that makes me even more entrenched in living  in a country I don’t particularly care for.

I love that it ties and bonds me closer to my fiance, and that he becomes a father, and I’m happy for the little baby girl and the loving daddy and the lovely bond they are sure to have.  But I just can’t get my head around ever feeling anything about her, myself.  I have been planning a homebirth,  researching diaper bags,

baby carriers,

buying up adorable name brand clothes on the secondary market and saving a ton, and we have a fabulous-o stroller that I got for 95% off retail by buying 6 years used:

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But as for having a person to go in it?  I’m not that interested.  I’m into the shopping and birth preparation, not so much quite emotionally attaching to the idea of this little girl.  She’s four pounds now and it’s about time I start getting more excited about meeting her!

I definitely better eat that placenta and get over this.  At least I need to find someone to encapsulate it for me!  Or freeze half-palm sized chunks individually and throw the frozen chunks in a freezer bag, and have my dear fiance make me a smoothie every morning with lots of berries, yogurt, placenta and maple syrup.

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Finally…!!!

Finally...!!!

I was feeling like the old lady in red. My boobs have grown and started to merge with my pregnant belly. All my bras were too small, my former small C cup ta tas went from a large C to a D and then to almost a DD during these last months and my C cup bras were pathetic. Horrible shaping and horrible support. Actually, painful!
Then, I ordered some proper foam support maternity/nursing bras from ebay: http://www.ebay.com/itm/181129194325?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1439.l2648 which I remembered from my last go-rounds with breastfeeding, were my absolute favorite. The company, Fancee Free, has gone under, so the leftover stock is now being pawned off on the cheap on ebay. I paid 40 each for these suckers, years ago, so 12.99 seems like a fabulous bargain. I have now bought 7. Two in size F for the weeks post partum when my milk comes in and I am actually that big, and the rest in size E, for after the initial craziness settles down (and the size that fits right now pretty well).
I cannot tell you the difference in the quality of life to have a comfy but extremely supportive bra on right now! I feel like a new woman. It’s so silly to make such a fuss about a darned bra, but honestly I feel like a shapely, fabulous lady, whereas before I felt like a blob. Now my boobs are way up high, separated and perky, looking very feminine. It literally stops me in my tracks when I walk by a mirror. My belly still is a giant blob, but at least the boobs are up and away from the madness, and an attractive place for the eyes to rest when avoiding the mid-section massiveness.