My laidback, never-gets-mad, sweet and kind fiance would never flip off anyone. Under any circumstances. That is not his style. Getting angry is not his style. He may get miffed if the circumstances are provocative enough, but resort to childish behavior like raising his voice or flipping the bird? Nope.
His friend from childhood is visiting with his family, and they took a photo of themselves (just the two thirtysomething guys) to post on facebook. When they showed it to me, I stared incredulously. That’s my fiance with his middle finger proudly flipping off the camera. WTF?! What is that supposed to mean?
Apparently it was cool when he was in junior high and they flipped off the camera for picture poses, but he’s now closer to 40 than 30 and I think it looks just plain stupid of him to pose that way. If he knew how juvenile, classless, vulgar, and clueless it made him look at his age (any age over 25 would make the viewer really wonder about whether the person had mental problems, I would think), he wouldn’t do it.
When I tried to point out the problems with this, that I won’t be able to let his daughter look at photos of him with his friends if his middle finger is displayed in an act of vulgarity, he thought there would be no problem with letting her see. I couldn’t emphasize enough to him how akin it is to swearing, in my mind, another activity I wouldn’t want a toddler someday (in the not so distant future) emulating. We didn’t see eye to eye.
I asked how he would feel if she picked up that habit from him and started flipping everyone off because daddy does it, so it must be fine, and he said he wouldn’t mind. Again, WTF?! An innocent little girl thinking it acceptable to flip the bird? I don’t think so… Neither would the F word be okay.
He claims it’s hanging on to the concept of remaining ‘forever young’ by hanging on to habits that he developed as an adolescent. I pointed out that most teenage boys’ behaviors are best left in their youth and not carried on towards 40 years of age. I just couldn’t seem to get him to see my point.
What do you think, am I overreacting? Should I embrace his photos all over his facebook displaying a habit of flipping the bird in every photo….? It just makes my skin crawl. I would hope that if I was doing something that really turned him off, even offended him, to this extent….then he would cut it out. Hmm…